


A Bittersweet Symphony

by Nikka001



Series: Our Lives Can Still Go On [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Caring Riley Davis, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Healing, Hurt Angus Macgyver (Macgyver 2016), Hurt Riley Davis (MacGyver 2016), Marriage Proposal, Miscarriage, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28873386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikka001/pseuds/Nikka001
Summary: It's been a year since their devastating loss. They try and heal but no matter how hard they try, something always comes along to tear them back down again. Together, at least they can try to pick up the pieces. A little bit at a time.
Relationships: Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Our Lives Can Still Go On [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112213
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	A Bittersweet Symphony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chartreuseblueandyellow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chartreuseblueandyellow/gifts).



> As mentioned in the summary and as will be mentioned in the story, this fic takes place roughly a year after the last one. They are now together and struggling to come to terms with everything that they have lost. Big and small. 
> 
> This one did kind of get away from me a little bit but I think overall it turned out great. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from each and every one of you. Especially from a new friend of mine here on Ao3. You were so sweet in your comment on my last story and I cannot even begin to tell you how much it meant to me. All of you have been very kind and welcoming me into this fandom and I appreciate it more than you can know. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> -Annika

* * *

Riley wakes to the sound of light humming and the strumming of a guitar, both of which she can recognize in an instant. She reaches over to confirm her suspicions and sure enough, the space that her boyfriend normally occupies through the night is now cold and empty. It’s not unusual for him to not be able to sleep but the guitar, well, that was a newer thing. She knew he could play, he’d played for her many times before, but when he played at night she knew there was something else. 

Sighing and swinging her legs over the side of their bed, Riley pulls on the Metallica shirt she’d tossed to the side the night before and quietly pads out of their room and into the main living space. It’s normal for her to find him there, sitting alone on the couch with his guitar in his lap strumming out whatever tune popped into his head. This time is different though. She doesn’t find him on the couch but instead walks towards the patio to find him straddling the bench and strumming out chords while the fire pit blazes. It must’ve been a bad one this time if he chose to sit outside instead of being cooped up in the house. 

She moves forward, stopping and leaning up against the door frame to just watch as his fingers pluck the strings and his head tilts back with his eyes closed. She admires him, the way the light from the fire casts an orange glow on him making it look almost as if he were glowing.

“I can hear you thinking over there,” he says suddenly, his head never even turning to look in her direction.

She smiles and laughs. “Well then, I bet you’re feeling pretty embarrassed right now, huh? I’ve got some pretty dirty thoughts running through my head.”

The strumming stops and Mac lowers his head, turning to glare playfully at his girlfriend, a teasing smirk playing at his lips. “Mhm. Nice try. Any dirty thoughts you have, you always manage to say them out loud,” he says as he sets his guitar down on the bench in front of him and reaches out a hand towards Riley, wiggling his fingers as a gesture for her to come forward.

Grabbing a blanket from the basket by the patio doors, Riley wraps it around her shoulders as she continues the path to her boyfriend. When she reaches the bench she sits down behind him, leaning forward enough to pull the blanket around the both of them, resting her chin against his shoulder. She hears him let out a heavy sigh as he slumps back against her, his body relaxing under her touch. 

“Was it just a nightmare this time or did you have another panic attack?” 

She feels him tense at the question but they both know that it’s a necessary inquiry if she’s going to help him through any of this. 

“It  _ was _ just a nightmare but uh…” he lets himself trail off, most likely not wanting to admit to something that’s become so familiar yet so humiliating to him. They both know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, lots of people have panic attacks, but that doesn’t stop the shame and humiliation she knows he feels whenever it happens. 

“Mac”—Riley sits back and brings her hands up to rest on his shoulders—“I know you hate talking about it, but I promise that it really will help. It may not seem like it, but it does.”

Mac sighs but lets his body relax once more from her touch, her hands massaging at the knots in his shoulders and neck. “I know, Riles, and I will talk about it. It’s just hard. I don’t want to make you feel sad.”

Dropping her hands from his shoulders, Riley pushing the blanket off the both of them before getting up from behind him and moving around to sit in front of him, her legs criss-cross on the bench. “We lost our baby, Mac,” she says, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible but she knows she’s failing. “I’m sad about that every day.”

Mac draws in a shaky breath and looks away from her as she reaches for his hands and takes them in hers. She holds onto his trembling hands and brings them up to her mouth to press a kiss on each one. Saying it out loud, breathing those words into existence after so long of living them in silence, is hard. Hard on both of them. It’s the life they’ve lived for almost a month now, yet it’s hard to think of it as their reality. 

It had been such a shock to them both, losing their baby when they hadn’t even known she was pregnant. At first, she had just felt numb, not really knowing what to think, do, or even say. They didn’t talk about it at first, not wanting to make the other one feel bad, but after a while, they had to. He’d broken down in her arms that night. He’d been so quiet and so unlike himself leading up to it that it scared her. She wasn’t sure how to approach him.

And then that night, after a dinner to celebrate their one year anniversary had gone so horribly wrong, she finally snapped. Yelled at him for being selfish and crying about how angry she was and how she needed him to be there for her.

She didn’t know how much he was hurting too. He broke down in tears and it was in that moment that she realized that he was angry too. That both of them were hurting in ways that nobody else but each other could understand. 

Even as they sit here together, her hands covering his, silent tears on both of their cheeks, and two broken hearts still on the mend, they could only help each other. 

“I keep thinking about what went wrong,” Mac finally gets out through the sniffling and clearing of his throat. “About what I could’ve done differently.”

Riley uses one of her hands to tilt his head back in her direction and smiles softly at him. “Baby, you know there was nothing that either of us could’ve done. We didn’t even know I was pregnant until after it was too late.”

Mac looks at her with sad eyes, the tears have stopped somewhat but the pain she’d seen in his eyes still remains. “I know. I know that. I just...I thought that maybe, if I hadn’t insisted we take the mission, then maybe...this time I could’ve saved someone.”

“Is that what this is about?” Riley tilts her head to the side and lets her lips form into a frown. “Mac, we all agreed to go on that mission, okay? It wasn’t just you. Besides, you remember what the Doctor said as well as I do. Nothing on that mission could’ve caused the miscarriage. I was only seven weeks and sometimes these things...they just happen.”

Taking a deep breath and nodding, Mac closes his eyes and leans forward until his forehead rests comfortably against Riley’s. She smiles and tilts her head up to place a kiss on the tip of Mac’s nose. When he opens his eyes, crinkling his nose and smiling up at her, Riley leans in to give him a proper kiss which he returns in full.

“Riles,” he says after pulling back, “do you have any idea how much I really love you?”

She nods as he raises their joined hands up to link hers around his neck. “I do. You have told me many, many times. But it’s okay if you want to tell me again.”

With his hands resting comfortably on her waist and looking deep into her eyes, Mac smiles at her before saying softly, “Riley Nicole Davis, I love you more than I love anyone so I am asking you, if you would consider...marrying me?”

She’s silent for longer than he would like and when his smile drops and he starts to pull away, Riley surges forward to kiss him once again. She presses their lips together hard until they both have to pull away to breathe. 

Laughing and breathing heavily, Riley smiles brightly at Mac and moves her hands forward to hold his face. “Angus MacGyver, I would love nothing more than to marry you. Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think and stick around over the next few weeks because the 3rd and final story in this series should be coming soon. 
> 
> -Annika


End file.
